Wednesday, January 25, 2017

The Day I Went to Fifth Grade

Hello, Beautiful Peoples of The Internet! My name is Samantha and today I have had an adventure. I went to fifth grade. And believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Since my big person's fifth grade is online, it was a slightly different experience. DISCLAIMER BANNER HERE
So I got up as usual and I put on my favorite dress. I'm sorry I don't have a picture! But it's pink and lace and white roses. Very pretty. Anyways, I velcroed my shoes and my hair was done. You know the half a ponytail style where it's flat with the hair right underneath? That style. 

Soon, it was time for me to go. I did vocabulary. Who has time for that? If I want a word, I own a dictionary, so why did I have to learn this? Miss Smartypants, my big person, said, "So you look educated and don't have to carry around a dictionary 24/7." I don't understand either, random people of the internet.

Next, it was time for spelling. I don't get that either. People still write using pen and paper with technology? Won't I just get corrected? Miss Smartypants said, "People sometimes still write, and it looks bad when you handwrite a business letter with spelling errors." Now, WHY would I need to write a business letter the world will never know.

Then it was time for literature. Can't I just use online CliffsNotes? Really? Apparently, they now purposely use questions that you can't find in CliffsNotes. Miss Smartypants has the apparent answer, "But that's not reading. That's cheating.". But why would you want to, say, read an 800-page book that is exceedingly boring but so apparently important to my education that I have to read the darn thing?

We also did arithmetic, which I found to be stupid. We have calculators now! Why do math? It takes meticulous neatness and pains the hands. I have no clue why this subject even exists!

Well, that was my adventure today, so I draw to close. 0/10 but have to go again.


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